Topic: sex

Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.

  • I Asked My Scottish Friend How Many Sexual Partners He’s Had

    I asked my Scottish friend how many sexual partners he’s had.

    He started counting but soon fell asleep.

  • Why a Small Cruise Ship Is Like a Guy

    Why is a small cruise ship like a guy suffering from premature ejaculation?

    Both of them only need a couple of tugs.

  • They Say That During Sex You Burn Off Calories

    They say that during sex, you burn off as many calories as running eight miles.

    Who the hell runs eight miles in one minute?

  • Goofy Has a Son

    Goofy Has a Son

    nervabeacon

    Goofy is the only classic Disney character who has had sex.

    Mickey has nephews, Donald has nephews, Goofy has a son.

    And he wasn’t adopted, he looks just like him.

    Goofy… has had sex.
    Goofy… has known a woman biblically.

    Imagine what it must’ve looked like.
    Imagine what it sounded like.

    These are the things I think about when I wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat.

    GA-HYUK.

  • The Difference Between a Lamborghini and a Dead Hooker

    What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead hooker?

    I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

  • Why Bill Clinton Stopped Playing the Saxophone

    Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone?

    To take up more time playing that harmonica.

  • A Friend of Mine Had a Penis Extension

    A friend of mine had a penis extension.

    And now his house looks stupid.

  • Three Pregnant Women at the Bar

    Three women were sitting in a bar, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. They were all pregnant.

    The brunette says, “I know what I’m going to have.” The other two asked how.

    She replied, “Well, I was on top when I conceived, so I will have a baby boy.”

    The redhead said, “If your logic is correct, then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived.”

    The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, “PUPPIES, PUPPIES!”

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  • Friday Afternoon at the Bar

    A guy walked into his local bar one Friday afternoon right after clocking out of work.

    Stepping up to the counter, he spotted his good friend Joe slamming back two double shots in a row, wearing a thoroughly miserable scowl.

    “What’s with the long face, Joe?” the guy asked, taking a seat beside him.

    Joe let out a heavy sigh. “My wife sat me down this morning and told me she’s putting me on a strict schedule. From now on, she’s only going to sleep with me on Mondays and Thursdays.”

    His buddy clapped him on the shoulder and said, “Come on, cheer up! Look on the bright side… she’s cut the rest of us off completely.”

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  • How to summon

    How to summon

    HOW TO SUMMON

    CHILD SUPPORT