Topic: sexual innuendo

Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

I should have known that the way I learned to “dissemenate”

I should have known that the way I learned to “dissemenate” information at the porn conference wouldn’t work at the PTA meeting.
I picked my fiance’s wedding party very carefully: someone old,

I picked my fiance’s wedding party very carefully: someone old, someone new, someone borrowed and someone I blew.
I love Photoshop. I can send pics of my hoo-hah to guys on the

I love Photoshop. I can send pics of my hoo-hah to guys on the ‘net and make it so they can’t even see my penis.
I should be chosen Small Business Owner of the Year now that

I should be chosen Small Business Owner of the Year now that I’ve finally solved once and for all the issue about sexual harrassment in my business. Nobody ELSE thought of hiring only prostitutes.
My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s

My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s getting anal tonight.” Unfortunately for him, I was referring to his mom’s meticulousness in the kitchen.
You know how schoolkids love that cool magic trick where, with

You know how schoolkids love that cool magic trick where, with some sleight of hand, you make it look like you’re breaking off your finger, then — voila! — it’s back on again? Well, it turns out it’s not as popular when you try it with your penis.
You know, taking pictures of my pubic area with my penis tucked

You know, taking pictures of my pubic area with my penis tucked between my legs was fun, but it was *NOTHING* compared to the joy of blackmailing my roommate after I caught him whacking off to them.
Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she

Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she *smells* like fish and you’ll be wanking for months.
you’re the only female. But it might be a bitch to get those

you’re the only female. But it might be a bitch to get those blue cumstains off of my dress.
Haiku: My girlfriend’s hoo-ha Is like Bon Jovi’s album, Slippery

Haiku: My girlfriend’s hoo-ha Is like Bon Jovi’s album, Slippery When Wet.