You know, taking pictures of my pubic area with my penis tucked between my legs was fun, but it was *NOTHING* compared to the joy of blackmailing my roommate after I caught him whacking off to them.
Topic: sexual innuendo
Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she
Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she *smells* like fish and you’ll be wanking for months.
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you’re the only female. But it might be a bitch to get those
you’re the only female. But it might be a bitch to get those blue cumstains off of my dress.
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Haiku: My girlfriend’s hoo-ha Is like Bon Jovi’s album, Slippery
Haiku: My girlfriend’s hoo-ha Is like Bon Jovi’s album, Slippery When Wet.
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My penis has a mind of its own. That’s usually not a big
My penis has a mind of its own. That’s usually not a big problem, but it can result in me getting some strange readings from fortune tellers.
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My ex called me “Snakegirl.” Turns out it was because I like
My ex called me “Snakegirl.” Turns out it was because I like snakeskin boots so much and had nothing to do with that cool blowjob trick I do where I unhinge my jaw.
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I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my
I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my Cap’n Crunch vibrator.
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Absinthe makes the schlong grow harder
Absinthe makes the schlong grow harder.
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My sperm bank went out of business. My mistake was building it
My sperm bank went out of business. My mistake was building it so close to Jilly G.’s house — by the time the donors got to my office, they were pretty well emptied of fluids.
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I apologize if my uber-hotness has caused problems for any local
I apologize if my uber-hotness has caused problems for any local businesses. I guess the guys just really like my “first served, first cum” motto.
