I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little humor into my act by yelling, “And now for my next trick…” and grabbing some guy by the wand.
Topic: sexual innuendo
Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought
This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought to myself, “Who cares how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center? It’s the licking for hours I’m good at and enjoy so much.”
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What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of
What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of melted vibrators to prove it.
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Dildos need a tagline, for marketing purposes. My suggestion:
Dildos need a tagline, for marketing purposes. My suggestion: “The gift that keeps on getting.”
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Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I’d truly
Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I’d truly like to be. ‘Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, Jilly G. would be deep-throating me.
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I learned two things that weekend: 1) Despite the assurances and
I learned two things that weekend: 1) Despite the assurances and insistence of my scout master, the product is not named “KY-In-Tents”; 2) The experience is nothing like what they lead you to believe from those commercials.
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When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think
When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think it he was talking about the effect of sleep on morning wood.
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Careful of your spelling when you Google. There’s a fine line
Careful of your spelling when you Google. There’s a fine line between “Virginia” and “Vagina” in your search results. And most of the “Virginia” links are really boring.
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I was going to try to come up with a Rumination about my huge
I was going to try to come up with a Rumination about my huge throbbing cock, but it’s just too damn hard.
