Topic: sexual innuendo

Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a

Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a vegan, I just wanted you to eat ME, dork.
When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I

When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I was going to fuck a hot chick from Rio. Either way, now I can’t fucking walk.
I went up to a gorgeous woman in a bar and said, “You know, you

I went up to a gorgeous woman in a bar and said, “You know, you can’t spell ‘cunnilingus’ without ‘us.’” She made a fist and said, “And you can’t spell ‘blowjob’ without ‘ow’!”
Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get

Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get more bang for buck.
Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you

Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you.
I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response

I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response when my boyfriend asked me what I stuck in his ass.
My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the

My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the Halloween party we’re attending. Awesome! When we get back home, tonight’s rectal thermometer session will be that much more authentic.
The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I

The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I get in, there’s a mystical voice that says, “Going down.”
(Bonnie) I’m a conservationist at heart and take pride in my

(Bonnie) I’m a conservationist at heart and take pride in my innovative recycling ideas. Did you know an old dildo works great as an egg-beater? Yup, you’ll get light, fluffy eggs every time.
They say it isn’t the size of the boat, but the motion of the

They say it isn’t the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. While there’s some truth to that, you can’t make too many waves if you’re only piloting a dinghy.