Topic: sexual innuendo

Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang

I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang lots of meat euphemisms, like “slipping her the sausage.”
I don’t know why my wife complains so much. If I were a bull

I don’t know why my wife complains so much. If I were a bull rider, lasting 8 seconds would win me a lot of rodeo competitions.
Fasterbate; verb – to attempt to quickly finish rubbing one out

Fasterbate; verb – to attempt to quickly finish rubbing one out in a place where discovery of the activity would be extremely awkward, such as at the urinal, in one’s cubicle or waiting at the drive-thru at In-and-Out Burger.
I highly doubt they’ll be able to find 12 other bipolar

I highly doubt they’ll be able to find 12 other bipolar anal-insertion fetishist
Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a

Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a vegan, I just wanted you to eat ME, dork.
When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I

When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I was going to fuck a hot chick from Rio. Either way, now I can’t fucking walk.
I went up to a gorgeous woman in a bar and said, “You know, you

I went up to a gorgeous woman in a bar and said, “You know, you can’t spell ‘cunnilingus’ without ‘us.’” She made a fist and said, “And you can’t spell ‘blowjob’ without ‘ow’!”
Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get

Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get more bang for buck.
Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you

Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you.
I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response

I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response when my boyfriend asked me what I stuck in his ass.