I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties, but apparently “lipstick” is already taken.
Topic: sexual innuendo
Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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When doing a crossword puzzle and asking the person next to you
When doing a crossword puzzle and asking the person next to you to spell the word “pungent,” make sure you’re not looking up from their vagina.
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True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to
True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to the bed and fuck your lights out.
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My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of
My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of sex from the man with the world’s smallest penis. She didn’t know she had it in her.
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The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra
The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra coffee and lotion delivered to my room, but, hey, I may be on vacation, but my penis isn’t!
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When I asked my boyfriend to give me a “shocker,” I wasn’t
When I asked my boyfriend to give me a “shocker,” I wasn’t expecting him to tell me that he fucked my mom.
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Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what
Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what would Paris Hilton do?” But damn, I can never find that many cocks around.
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I’m a big fan of suspense movies. I like not knowing whether the
I’m a big fan of suspense movies. I like not knowing whether the hero’s going to squirt on her bush or unload all over those big ol’ titties.
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Poor Mrs. Claus. Her only options for hot sex involve an old
Poor Mrs. Claus. Her only options for hot sex involve an old obese guy, dozens of guys with one-inch cocks, and a herd of oddly named deer.
