Last week I took the kids to a children’s zoo.
Last night they escaped and came back home.
Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Last week I took the kids to a children’s zoo.
Last night they escaped and came back home.
After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my long-distance girlfriend’s amazing naked body via webcam today. Now I just pray she doesn’t find the hidden camera.
At first I was put off when she invited me back to her place and it reeked of urine. Then when she told me that she doesn’t have pets, I was totally turned on.
Whenever I cum during sex, I like to say “Thank you” to my boyfriend. He appreciates it and says it makes it feel like he was in the room.
When your girlfriend has a sore throat, it’s probably not a good idea to offer your manhood as a soothing lozenge. Not so much because it’s inconsiderate, but because the prospect of catching strep-penis sounds quite unpleasant.
Well, the test results are back, and it turns out you *can* get a disease from a toilet seat — especially if you have sex with a heroin-addicted hooker on it.
My boyfriend told me, “I want to take a picture of my cock between the twins.” WTF? I’m not so sure I want my niece and nephew that close to a rooster!
I got in trouble at the PTA meeting for suggesting “Wild, Hot and Horny” as the them for the pre-school auction. Those fucking pervs — I was talking about desert deer.
Of all the knee joints in all the world, why did he have to cum all over mine?