Dialogue joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Little Johnny attends a horse auction with his father. He watches as his father moves from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest.
After a few minutes Johnny asks, “Dad, why are you doing that?”
His father says, “I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy one.”
Worried, Johnny says, “Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy mom.”
A husband got home early from work. He grabbed a beer from the fridge, sat in his favorite recliner and put the TV on a game!
His wife got home late from work! She immediately started dinner, the laundry and vacuuming!
As she walked by, her husband grabbed her hand and asked, “What are the chances of me getting laid tonight?”
She said, “Spell way!”
He replied, “W-A-Y!”
She said, “You forgot the F.”
He said, “There is no F in way!”
His wife replied, “Exactly!”
Vladimir Putin and his driver were on their way to Kyiv in a car when all of a sudden they hit a pig near a farmhouse, killing it instantly.
Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later, Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all disheveled.
“What happened to you?” asked Putin.
“Well, the farmer gave me the Horilka, his wife gave me a box of cigars and their 19 year old and 21 year old daughters made mad passionate love to me simultaneously.”
“My God, what did you tell them?” asks Putin.
The driver replies, “I’m president Putin’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”
“Mrs O’Malley, good morning,” greeted the preacher.
“Good morning, Pastor,” she replied.
“Last week, your husband walked out during the sermon. I hope nothing too serious is the matter?”
“Nothing too serious, just that he has a tendency for sleepwalking.”
A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with “tor” and that also ate things.
The first little boy said, “Alligator.” “Very good James, that’s a big word.”
The second boy said, “Predator.” “Yes, that’s another big word Alan, well done.”
Little Johnny says, “Vibrator.”
After nearly falling off her chair, the teacher says, “That’s a big word Johnny, but it doesn’t eat anything.”
“Well my mother has one and she says it eats batteries like there’s no tomorrow!”
