Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village. One says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other replies, “Me neither. It must be the cobblestone.”
Delivery Style: dialogue
Dialogue joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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It must be the cobblestone
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Well, that didn’t work
My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…
I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.
She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.
After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”
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Here comes the second one
How do terrorists feed their children?
“Here comes the airplane.”
“Here comes the second one.” -
Bench of Bizarre Disorders
A sadist, a masochist, a necrophile, a murderer, a zoophile, and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.
“Let’s have sex with the cat,” says the zoophile.
“Let’s have sex with the cat and then torture it,” says the sadist.
“Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, and then kill it,” says the murderer.
“Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, and then have sex with it again,” says the necrophile.
“Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again, and then burn it,” says the pyromaniac.
There was a silence. Then the masochist said, “Meow.”
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Legendary Size: Mr. Rutledge’s Final Surprise!
Old Mr. Rutledge died peacefully in his sleep and was taken to the morgue.
While fixing him up for the funeral, the mortician naturally got a look at the old dead man naked.
He was so awestruck at the size of Rutledge’s penis that he called his assistant in.
“Wow, good on you, Mr. Rutledge! That thing’s gotta be the size of a baseball bat!” the assistant commented.
Later that night, the mortician commented to his wife, “I worked on the body of an old man today. I swear what he was packing was the size of a baseball bat!”
His wife’s eyes widened and she said, “Mr. Rutledge died?”
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Pump number 5
I got robbed today and called the police.
The cop asked if I had a description of the assailant.
I said, “Yeah, it’s pump number 5.” -
Paradise Misunderstood: A Global Perspective
A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says, “They look so calm—they must be British!”
The Frenchman responds, “No, no! They’re naked, so beautiful—they must be French!”
The Russian says, “They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise? …They’re clearly Russian!”
