Delivery Style: One-liner

One-liner joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • X-Ray to X-Rated

    If I were to ever get X-ray vision, I expect it would last about ten seconds before becoming X-rated vision.

  • Arrest a Mime

    If I were a cop, I’d look for an excuse to arrest a mime just so I could tell them they had the right to remain silent.

  • Take Something for My Kleptomania

    I thought about trying to take something for my kleptomania, but that sort of defeats the purpose, then, doesn’t it?

  • Scientists Can Clone Sheep

    I sleep better at night knowing that scientists can clone sheep.

  • $50 Every Time

    My current girlfriend loves to give blowjobs. Then again, so would I if I got $50 every time I did it.

  • Number One

    Last night, my girlfriend told me that I’m her “number one.” That’s just great: Not only does she see another man, but I’m more numb than he is.

  • If At First You Don’t Succeed

    If at first you don’t succeed, blackmail everyone who saw you fail. Unless what you failed at is blackmail — then you’ll have to go straight to murder.

  • Multiple Autobiographies

    The cool thing about having multiple personality disorder is that you get to write a shitload of autobiographies!