Delivery Style: One-liner

One-liner joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I should have known that the way I learned to “dissemenate”

I should have known that the way I learned to “dissemenate” information at the porn conference wouldn’t work at the PTA meeting.
I picked my fiance’s wedding party very carefully: someone old,

I picked my fiance’s wedding party very carefully: someone old, someone new, someone borrowed and someone I blew.
I love Photoshop. I can send pics of my hoo-hah to guys on the

I love Photoshop. I can send pics of my hoo-hah to guys on the ‘net and make it so they can’t even see my penis.
You can’t tell a book by its cover, but thank GOD that’s not the

You can’t tell a book by its cover, but thank GOD that’s not the case with meth whores.
I gave up courtesy for Lent. So fuck you

I gave up courtesy for Lent. So fuck you.
What I did to that hooker last night was so epic, it’ll go down

What I did to that hooker last night was so epic, it’ll go down in the anals of history.
With my luck, I’ll end up with the world’s first diagnosed case

With my luck, I’ll end up with the world’s first diagnosed case of “genital anthrax.” And when they find out I work at the post office, the boss is really going to question my mail-handling procedures.
When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you

When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you ought to wait until you cum first, just in case life changes its mind and decides to give you blue balls instead.
Enough already about the Royal Wedding. Let’s move on to the

Enough already about the Royal Wedding. Let’s move on to the Royal Wooding!
I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to

I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to have such a cute, funny girlfriend.” Have they not noticed the tits?!