One Liner Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better

“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better with girdle sales than it does with penis enhancement products.

I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer, because now I feel compelled to keep checking out his cock.

I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close, but close only counts in haircuts and handjobs.

No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered her family originates from the former Soviet republic of Nojugsistan.

There’s a sucker born every minute, but there’s an asshole born every 30 seconds.

The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire people to fuck me, I can ask to re-interview them over and over.

Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words: “I’d hit that.”

I lost a bundle wagering on porn the other day. Take my advice and don’t bet against the spread.

My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy the Stripper for Halloween, he refused to eat me.