“There’s a one letter difference between ‘heroes’ and ‘herpes,’ so choose wisely, kids.” Why I’m not allowed to speak at schools anymore.
Delivery Style: One-liner
One-liner joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Gotta Hand It to Her
My blind doctor is incredible at solving erectile dysfunctions.
Gotta hand it to her.
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Wrong on So Many Levels
Did you hear about the elevator operator that kept making mistakes?
He was wrong on so many levels.
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A Brief Job
I worked as an underwear model…
It was just a brief job.
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Without a Tres
There was a Mexican magician. He said he’d disappear on the count of three. He said uno, dos, *poof*… he disappeared without a tres.
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Fatherly Bubble
Nothing can burst your fatherly bubble faster than hearing your daughter come home from a date and saying, “Some nights I don’t know why I even bother to wear panties.”
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Keep People in the Dark
My friends keep asking me how I’m able to save so much on my electric bill,
but I’ll never tell because I like to keep people in the dark.
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Moo-spaper
How do cows stay up to date?
They read the moo-spaper.
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They Were Wright
About a hundred years ago a couple brothers said they could fly.
They were Wright.
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Violins
Did you know that the string section of an orchestra is the most dangerous?
It’s because of all the violins.
