I never wear party hats, because if the zombie apocalypse hit just at that moment, I’d be staggering around dead with an embarrassing hat on. /@b0nrmunky
Delivery Style: One-liner
One-liner joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Since when did Target security start conducting strip searches in their restrooms?
Since when did Target security start conducting strip searches in their restrooms? Almost made me late getting back from lunch.
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Putting broccoli in my omelette is like garnishing my hot fudge sundae with a pubic hair.
Putting broccoli in my omelette is like garnishing my hot fudge sundae with a pubic hair. /@rmfnord
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This Denver Omelet has too much John and not enough Bob in it.
This Denver Omelet has too much John and not enough Bob in it. /@b0nrmunky
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I just saw a possum riding an armadillo.
I just saw a possum riding an armadillo. I don’t know if I should call animal control or start my own backyard circus.
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Personally, I’m just thankful there’s no deviant politician named Anthony Bunghole who
Personally, I’m just thankful there’s no deviant politician named Anthony Bunghole who likes to send nudie pics of his namesake.
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His muscle pressed hard against his trousers like a burly midget trapped in a burlap
His muscle pressed hard against his trousers like a burly midget trapped in a burlap sack… Erotic fiction is not easy. /@b0nrmunky
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I wish I’d penned a song titled, “I Write The Songs That Make the Whole World Want to
I wish I’d penned a song titled, “I Write The Songs That Make the Whole World Want to Stick Scissors in Their Ears and Come After the Singer With Torches and Pitchforks,” because I’m pretty sure that Wikipedia would make a page entry about that guy.
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I’m walking through one of Japan’s first Costcos with a tear in my eye, taking a last
I’m walking through one of Japan’s first Costcos with a tear in my eye, taking a last glance at Japanese women’s fit, slender butts. /@b0nrmunky
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Everyone talks about the world’s great injustices, but no one’s mentioning how I’ve been
Everyone talks about the world’s great injustices, but no one’s mentioning how I’ve been stuck on this level of Candy Crush for a week now. /@rmfnord
