Sure, I might be addicted to brake fluid.
But I can stop anytime.
Delivery Style: Pun
Pun joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
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I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.
I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.
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Beating Around the Bush at the Brothel
A man goes to a brothel where they line up 10 naked women for him to choose from at the cost of $1000. Nine are very unattractive to the man, but off to the side he sees the most beautiful young woman who also has the hairiest vagina he has ever seen, but was holding up a $500 sign that said no oral or penetration.
“What’s the deal with her?” the man asked, still intrigued.
“With her you can only beat around the bush.”
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Trumpets
John: *writes Revelations* Lord, the End is signaled by trumpets?
God: No, Trump/Pence
John: Right. Trumpets.
God: Fine. They’ll know.
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Professional Hide-and-Seek Tournament
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
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Three Tons of Hair Stolen from Wig Factory
Three tons of hair was stolen from a wig factory.
Police are combing the area.
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Books on Turtles
[Walks into bookstore]
Me: Do you have any books on turtles?
Worker: Hard back?
Me: Yeah, with little heads.
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One for the Road
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says to the bartender, “Two beers please. One for me, and one for the road.”
