I recently ordered a thesaurus online and when it arrived it was blank. I literally have no words to describe how angry I am.
Delivery Style: Pun
Pun joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Wurst Is Yet to Come
I ordered some German food from DoorDash. The sauerkraut has arrived but the wurst is yet to come.
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Good Buoy
I took my dog to the lake today and noticed he floats very well.
He’s a very good buoy.
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The Top 16 Lesser Known Paths to the Dark Side
The Top 16 Lesser Known Paths to the Dark Side
16. “Mr. Lucas — can I show you the preliminary sketches for my ‘Cute Gungan’ character?”
15. Do tequila shots while watching the Home Shopping Network.
14. At only $3.99, that Yanni CD is just too cheap to pass up. I mean, that’s practically FREE, man.
13. Hide your evil corporate doings behind the smiling face of a cartoon mouse.
12. “Whitney and Bobby, I now pronounce you man and wife.”
11. On a dare, watch a muted “Gigli” while listening to William Hung’s latest album.
10. Try to pay for more than 10 power converters in the Tashi Station express lane.
9. You feel an other-worldly presence inspiring you as you introduce Paris Hilton to Kato Kaelin.
8. Puns.
7. Your senior thesis: “John Wilkes Booth: American Patriot.”
6. Return to your childhood for inspiration in choosing your post-Jedi name, “Darth Blankie.”
5. “An interest-free loan? Oh man, Mr. Gotti, you’re a life-saver!”
4. A seemingly innocent pairing of Martha Stewart bed linens with Christopher Lowell pillow shams.
3. Tentatively decide to approach Ted Nugent with your idea for curbing the neighborhood’s population of stray pets.
2. “I love your hair, Mr. Trump.”
1. Offer your services to Death Row Records as house grammarian.
