> been chatting with cute 14 year old girl
> really flirty and sexy
> now she tells me she’s an undercover cop
> how fucking cool is that for someone her age
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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At the Bowling Alley
MEANWHILE, AT THE BOWLING ALLEY…
Due to the Coronavirus Please refrain from touching other People’s BALLS.
Please remember to wash your hands after touching your own balls. THANK YOU!
-
Law Professor’s Ethics Class
law professor: you're currently failing your ethics class
me: *slides a $20 across the desk*
how about now
-
A Kitchen Table
I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen
table when we heard the front door open
She said “it’s my husband!.. Quick, try the
backdoor!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran but you
don’t get offers like that every day. -
First Day at Domino’s
Kyle 🌱
@KylePlantEmoji
[first day at Domino’s]
Manager: oh and one more thing: don’t
fuck the pizzas
Me: haha
Asst Manager: seriously, don’t fuck
them
Cook: don’t fuck the pizzas dude
Me: I’m n-
Customer: that guy’s not gonna fuck my
pizza is he?
Manager: not if he wants to keep his
job he wont. -
A Tree Falls in a Forest
[tree falls in forest]
[doesn’t make a sound]
GUY IN CAMOUFLAGE: What the—
TREE: oh shit I mean AHHH!!! -
The Coronavirus Stockpile
When it’s only been 48
hours and you’ve eaten
your entire coronavirus
stockpile -
A Guy Who Uses Toys During Sex
HER: I LIKE A GUY WHO
USES TOYS DURING SEX
ME: *SHOOTS NURF GUN AT
HER BUTTHOLE DURING SEX*
HER: -
A Toddler’s Promise
My 3 year old asked how long he had
to wait until he could stop listening to
me. I told him he had to listen to me for
the rest of his life. He looked me dead
in the eyes and said, “I’ll listen to you
for the rest of YOUR life.” Toddlers are
cold-blooded, man. -
A Doctor’s Diagnosis
Doc: looks like you’re pregnant
girl: i’m pregnant ?
Doc: no it just looks like you are
