You’d think snails would be faster without their shells.
But they’re actually a bit more sluggish.
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Our Friend Claimed That He Scaled Mount Everest
My wife thinks our friend is lying when he claimed that he scaled Mount Everest, but I disagree.
I think he made it up.
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My Kids Asked for a Dance Party in the Vegetable Garden
My kids asked if they could have a dance party in the neighbor’s vegetable garden. I’m like, “Uh, why?”
“Because they lettuce turnip the beets.”
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A Joke About a Felon Walking Down Stairs
I was going to tell you a joke about a dwarf felon walking down a set of stairs.
But it’s a little condescending.
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Sundays Are Always a Little Bit Sad
Sundays are always a little bit sad.
But the day before is a sadder day.
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Taking Snails Out of Their Shells
Taking snails out of their shells won’t make them go faster.
On the contrary, it makes them more sluggish.
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The British Engineers
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard four-pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets, and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.
The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer’s backrest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.
NASA responded with a one-line memo:
“Defrost the chicken.”
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Dating a Half Asian Girl
I’m dating a half asian girl
her mom is korean
and her dad is also korean
her legs were ripped off in a car accident
