The man that invented the Ferris wheel never met the man that invented the merry go round. They traveled in different circles.
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Beating My Meat at 3AM – My Apple Watch: Why Are You Running?
Me: *beating my meat at 3am*
My Apple Watch:
Why are you running?
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Love Do You Want Kids? Absolutely Not – Children We Need to Talk
Love, do you want kids?
Absolutely Not
Me Neither
Children, we need to talk
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I’m a Doctor in Mathematics – My Friend Is Dying – Minus One
– Do you have a doctor here?
– yes, I’m.
– What’s your specialty?
– I’m a doctor in Mathematics.
– My friend is dying.
– Minus one.
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Someone Finally Wrote a Book on Clock Fetishes – It’s About Fucking Time
WOW someone finally wrote a book on clock fetishes
it’s about fucking time
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I Don’t Think Giving Him a Gun Is the Right Choice Creatively – Paddington 3
Al Kennedy @housetoastonish
I love these movies but I don’t think giving him a gun is the right choice, creatively
IGN @IGN · 07 Jul 21
Paddington 3 will begin shooting in 2022.
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It’s Really Muggy Out – I’m Leaving You – Sips Coffee From Bowl
Max Dylan Ash @mynameisntdave
ME: honey, it’s really muggy out today
WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving u
ME: *sips coffee from bowl*
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I Struck Down a Jedi – Yes Use Your Hate
Gringo Brulee @GringoBrulee
Wife: wtf is this pile of clothes doing on the floor?
Me: I struck down a Jedi.
W: god I hate you.
M: yes, use your hate
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Game Show Idea: 11 Gay Men and 1 Straight Man – None of the Men Are Actually Gay
Game Show Idea:
11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn’t gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until 2 are left, or the straight man is out. If the gays manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the 2 last people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million dollars.
Now here’s the twist: None of the men are actually gay, they just all think they are the one straight man.
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Can You Give the Kids a Talk on Drugs – I Talk a Lot of Shit When I’m High
Wife: Can you give the kids a talk on drugs?
Me: Ok but I talk a lot of shit when I’m high
