So sad news, my girlfriend broke up with me for having a small penis.
It’s OK… I was never really that into her.
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Thinking Outside The Box Gary
(At my boss’s funeral kneeling and whispering at coffin)
“Who’s thinking outside the box now Gary?”
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Roland the Farter
Imagine farting so good that the King gives you a 30 acre estate.
Imagine someone farting so good, that you’re reading about them right now, 900 years later.
Roland the Farter – a medieval flatulist who lived in twelfth-century England. Given Hemingstone manor in Suffolk and 12 hectares (30 acres) of land in return for his services as a jester for King Henry II. Each year he was obliged to perform “Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum” (one jump, one whistle, and one fart) for the King’s court at Christmas.
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Hungover Me Vodka
I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH A GLASS OF WATER ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE WITH A NOTE SAYING “FOR HUNGOVER ME”
I DRANK IT AND IT WAS VODKA. DRUNK ME CAN BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
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Stop Drop Shut Em Down
So remember stop drop
Shut ’em down open up shop
Firefighter: Woah. No…
Kids: That’s how rough riders roll
Firefighter: *defeated sigh*
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They Prefer to Eat Out
Why don’t lesbians ever get their pizza delivered? They prefer to eat out.
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He Only Has One Eye and One Ear
A policeman was interrogating three guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first guy answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”
The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second guy smiles, flips his hair, and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?! Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
He quickly adds, “Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “The suspect wears contact lenses.”
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
“Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file on his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s true! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy…” the third guy replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”
