Three men enter a bar in the USSR. One says, “Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?”
The other says, “Because he was afraid of capitalism.”
The whole bar died laughing.
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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How to Respond to Someone Calling You a Grammar Nazi
How do you respond to someone calling you a grammar Nazi?
You call them antisemantic!
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A Winery Job Interview
At a winery, the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.
The drunk tried it and said, “It’s a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable.”
“That’s correct,” said the boss. Another glass…
“This is a Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for the finest results.”
“Correct.” A third glass… “It’s a Pinot Blanc Champagne, high grade and exclusive,” the drunk said calmly.
The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.
The alcoholic tried it. “It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get the job, I’ll name the father.”
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Poop Jokes Aren’t My Favorite Kind of Jokes
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes.
But they are a solid number two.
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The Assassin’s Rate
So there was this assassin that charged $10,000 per bullet.
A guy comes up to him in the bar one day and says, “Are you the guy who charges $10,000 a bullet?”
“Yup.”
“What if you miss?”
He looks at the man, deadly serious. “I don’t miss…”
“Okay, well, I’ve got $20,000. I just found out my wife is having an affair with my best friend. They’re at the motel together right now.”
“Let’s go,” the assassin says.
So they drive to a store across the street from the motel and climb up on the roof. The assassin takes out his rifle and attaches the scope.
“They’re in room 21. I want you to shoot her in the head, and I want you to blow his dick off.”
The assassin looks through his scope. He keeps staring for several minutes, not taking the shot.
“Well? What are you waiting for!?” the husband asks.
“Hold on a minute,” said the assassin. “I think I can save you 10K.”
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A Thousand Dollars
He asks, “Excuse me, can I bite your tits for a thousand dollars?”
She says, “Hell yea!” So they go to a secluded corner, and she opens her blouse. The man puts his face in her tits for nearly five minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?”
He says, “Nah, it’s too expensive.”
