Delivery Style: wordplay

Wordplay joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I’m surprised I’ve never seen a Facebook status update reading,

I’m surprised I’ve never seen a Facebook status update reading, “Rubbing one out… typing this with one hand.” Well, I guess SOMEone’s gotta do it.
My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually

My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually followed by passionate lovemaking. Nevertheless, I awakened abruptly only an hour later, with an unsatisfied hunger. Was it the twice cooked pork, or the twice porked cook that I was craving?
I’m not sure who to call — the patent office? Not to show my

I’m not sure who to call — the patent office? Not to show my hand too soon, but I think I figured out a cheap and easy way to make wet tissues at home.
American girls are okay, I guess, but when I get ready to settle

American girls are okay, I guess, but when I get ready to settle down, I’ll be looking for a woman who hails from Nicerackistan.
I’m not the kind of girl who whores herself out for booty calls;

I’m not the kind of girl who whores herself out for booty calls; with MY rack, it’s all about Titty Calls.
When she told me she would give me the best blowjob I’d ever had

When she told me she would give me the best blowjob I’d ever had for $20, I told her to put my money where her mouth is.
Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I’m more of an ass girl

Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I’m more of an ass girl.
Call me a fetishist, but I like my porn stars to show a little spunk

Call me a fetishist, but I like my porn stars to show a little spunk.
I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length,

I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length, because she’d never find pants that fit.
Boy, did my junk sting after I made it with that chick at the

Boy, did my junk sting after I made it with that chick at the swingers club. I guess there’s some truth to that old saying, “Love is a many-splintered thing.”