Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A smart-mouthed teen at the back of the class raised his hand and asked…
“Miss, what would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”
The entire class broke out in laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said… “Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand.”
A boss said to his secretary, “I want to have sex with you. I’ll make it very fast. I’ll throw $1,000 on the floor. By the time you bend down to pick it up, I’ll be done.”
She thought about it for a moment, then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend replied, “Go for it, but ask him for $2,000 instead. Pick up the money as fast as you can—he won’t even have time to undress himself.”
So she agreed.
Half an hour later, the boyfriend called her back.
“What happened?” he asked.
She replied, “That bastard used coins… I’m still picking them up, and he’s still going!”
After 25 years in the liquor business, Tom quits, buys 50 acres in remote Alaska, and lives in total peace with no visitors for six months.
One day, there’s a knock. A huge, bearded man says, “Name’s Lars, your neighbor from 40 miles up the road. Having a party Friday at 5. You should come.”
“Sounds great,” says Tom.
Lars starts to leave, then adds, “Gonna be some drinkin’.”
“No problem—I can handle that.”
“Probably some fightin’, too.”
“I get along with folks—I’ll be fine.”
“Maybe some wild sex, too.”
“Even better!” Tom grins. “What should I wear?”
Lars shrugs. “Don’t matter… just gonna be the two of us.”
Three nuns on a monthly trip to the city to sell goods from the convent’s garden got hit by a drunk driver and killed. They all went to heaven where they were met by St. Peter at the gate.
St. Peter, seeing that they were nuns, told them, “Well, ladies, seeing that you are all religious types, we’ll have to administer a little admissions test before letting you in. Nothing to worry about. Only one question.”
St. Peter asks the first nun, “OK, your question is: Who was the first man on earth?”
The nun replies, “Oh, that’s easy. It was Adam.”
Lights flash. Horns blow. The gates open wide and she was let in.
St. Peter then asks the second nun, “OK, your question is: Who was the first woman on earth?”
The nun replies, “Oh, that’s easy. It was Eve.”
And again, lights flash. Horns blow. The gates open wide and she was let in.
St. Peter then tells the third nun, “Well, you ladies are really on top of things. I’ll have to think of a more difficult question. Oh, I have it. Your question is: What was the first thing Eve said to Adam when she saw him?”
The third nun gets a rather confused look on her face, begins scratching her head and finally replies, “Gee, that’s a hard one.”
Lights flash. Horns blow. The gates open wide and she was let in.
After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, “You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I’m alone. Can you create me one also?”
God replied, “Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always, and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.”
Adam thought for a second and said, “That’s a bit steep, what can I get for a rib?”
A guy finds an old lamp in the desert. He rubs it and a genie pops out. The genie tells the guy he has two wishes.
The guy says, “I always thought it was three wishes.”
The genie says, “Check your pants.”
The guy looks down and says, “Woah, it’s huge!”
And the genie says, “I’ve been doing this for a long time.”
