A nice, calm, and respectable woman walks into a pharmacy, goes straight to the pharmacist, looks him in the eye, and says, “I’d like to buy some cyanide.”
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosFormat: dialogue
Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Horse Buyer With a Lisp
This guy with a lisp goes to buy a horse.
He asks the farmer, “Can I thee her walk?”
The farmer says, “Sure.” And he pats the horse’s rear to make it walk.
Then the guy asks, “Can I thee her wun?”
The farmer says, “Sure.” And he slaps the horse’s rear to make it run.
Then the guy asks, “Can I thee her twot?”
The farmer says, “Um, sure?” And he lifts the horse’s tail.
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The Escort and the Stripper
Son: “So, Dad… why the heck did Mom kick you out of the house?”
Dad: “Well, Son, it’s crazy, she overheard me on the phone with Uncle Mike talking about running some errands.”
Son: “What errands?”
Dad: “Mike was going to pick up a used car, and I was heading to the store for a tool to strip paint off some furniture.”
Son: “What’s wrong with that? That doesn’t sound so bad…”
Dad: “Yeah… I know, but all your mum heard was, ‘You go get the Escort, I’ll grab the stripper, and we’ll meet at your place.’”
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The MIT Engineer’s Salary Negotiation
At the end of a job interview, the head of human resources asks the young engineer fresh out of MIT, “What starting salary were you looking for?”
The engineer decides to shoot for the moon. “I’m thinking in the range of $125,000 a year or so, depending on the benefits package.”
“Hmm,” says the interviewer. “Well, what would you say to five weeks’ vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a retirement fund with company matching to 50 percent of salary, and a company car leased every two years — say, a Porsche?”
The engineer gasps and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
“Yeah,” replies the interviewer, “but you started it.”
