Why is the Bible like a penis?
You get it forced down your throat by a priest.
Question and answer comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Why is the Bible like a penis?
You get it forced down your throat by a priest.
What’s the worst thing about being an atheist?
You have nobody to talk to when you’re having an orgasm.
What’s the term for getting a handjob from a single mom?
A MILF shake.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
We all know the difference between a girlfriend and a wife is 45 pounds, but…
Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: What is the definition of “making love”?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It’s not real bright, but it’s cheap, and spreads easy.
Q: What’s the difference between Pee-wee Herman and O.J.?
A: It took 12 jerks to get O.J. off.
Q: What does a Polish woman do after she sucks a cock?
A: Spits out the feathers.
Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
“How come?”
What’s the definition of a teenager?
God’s punishment for enjoying sex.
Did you hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
They’ll never see you coming.
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.
What does Kodak film have in common with a condom?
They both capture that special moment.
Define Transvestite:
A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A scrotum pole!
What’s the ultimate in rejection?
When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Why don’t debutantes go to orgies?
There’d be too many thank you notes to write.
What is every Amish woman’s private fantasy?
Two Mennonite!
Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don’t need a partner.
Can you say three two letter words that denote small?
Is it in?
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.
Q: What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
I need to know something: Is it “Yeehaw” or “Heeyaw”? I’m riding in my first rodeo and don’t want to sound like a total idiot.
Q: What did one sperm cell say to the other sperm cell?
A: Last one there gets a rotten egg!