“What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?”
“I’ll spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.”
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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20 minutes looking for a golf ball
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Coma Care: The Power of a Sponge!
A woman is in the hospital in a coma, hooked up to all the monitors. One day, while the nurse was cleaning the wife, she noticed a blip of brain activity as she washed her nether region. The nurse scrambled to grab the doctor to show him.
The doctor ran the sponge over again: another blip. He was a little more vigorous, and a stronger series of blips appeared, but nothing brought back consciousness.
The doctor rushed out, called the husband, and told him to rush over to the hospital. When the husband arrived, the doctor let him know there was some brain activity and said it might be a weird request, but oral may bring his wife back.
The husband was flabbergasted, but after being reassured no one would interrupt, he went in and shut the blinds.
The doctors and nurses gathered around the nurses’ station when, suddenly, alarm bells started going off. The doctor and nurse ran in to help and saw the husband sitting beside her.
Doctor: “What happened?”
Husband: “I think she choked.”
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Okay, who farted?
Three guys from San Francisco are in a hot tub when suddenly a large blob of semen rises to the top.
One of the guys stands up, angry, and asks, “Okay, WHO farted?” -
Duct Tape: The Ultimate Duck Catcher!
An old man is sitting on his porch and sees a kid walking by carrying a roll of duct tape.
The old guy yells out, “Hey kid! Where are you going with that duct tape?”
“Gonna catch me some ducks!” says the kid.
“What? You can’t catch ducks with duct tape!” he yells back, but the kid continues on his way.
A couple hours later, the kid is walking back the other way, carrying four ducks wrapped up in duct tape. The old man can’t believe it.
The next day, the old guy is sitting on his porch again and sees the kid walking by. This time, he’s got a roll of chicken wire under his arm.
The old guy yells out, “Hey kid! Where are you going with that chicken wire?”
“Gonna catch me some chickens!” says the kid.
“Seriously? You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!” he yells back, but once again the kid just continues on his way.
Later that day, the kid walks back the other way and, sure enough, he’s got a half-dozen chickens wrapped up in the chicken wire. The old guy is astounded.
The next day, once again, the old guy is sitting out on his porch and sees the kid walking in front of his house.
He yells out, “Hey kid, what’ve you got under your arm there?”
“Pussywillow!” says the kid.
“…Hang on, I’ll go get my hat.”
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It must be the cobblestone
Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village. One says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other replies, “Me neither. It must be the cobblestone.” -
Knitting and Vitamins: Baby’s Best Starts!
So there are these three pregnant women in the OB-GYN’s waiting room: a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde, all knitting baby sweaters.
So they knit and they knit and they knit. Then the redhead pops a pill. The other two gasp.
“It’s OK,” the redhead says. “This is just calcium. I want my baby to have strong bones.”
So they knit and they knit and they knit. Then the brunette pops a pill. The other two gasp.
“It’s OK,” the brunette says. “This is just vitamin C. I want my baby to have a strong immune system.”
So they knit and they knit and they knit. Then the blonde pops a pill. The other two gasp.
“It’s OK,” the blonde says. “This is just thalidomide. I can’t get the arms on this sweater right.”
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Gorilla Pranks Lion: Jungle’s Wildest Tale!
A gorilla spots a lion bent over a stream taking a drink. He sneaks up behind him, does his thing, and takes off running. Furious, the lion chases him through the jungle.
The gorilla gets ahead and runs into a safari camp, quickly throws on some khakis, grabs a newspaper, and sits by the fire pretending to read.
Moments later, the lion bursts into camp, roaring, “Did anyone see a gorilla run through here?”
Without looking up, the gorilla says, “You mean the one that fucked the lion up the ass?”
The lion gasps, “Oh my god! It’s in the paper already?!”
