What’s the difference between Jesus and a frame of Jesus?
You can hang the frame with only one nail.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Same Name
I should be happy because I have a new girlfriend. The problem is she has the same name as my sister. So every time we have sex now…
…all I think about is my new girlfriend.
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The Golfing Widower
Jim and Bob are golfing together on a Sunday morning. They’re both on the green, which is near a county highway.
As Jim lines up his putt, a funeral procession goes by on the highway. Jim immediately stops, takes off his hat and bows his head.
Bob is impressed. “Wow, Jim. That’s really a profound sign of respect. I’m impressed.”
Jim answers, “Well, Bob. We were married for 41 years. It’s the least I could do.”
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My frog impression
I’ll never forget what my granddad said to me before he croaked.
He said, “Hey kid, wanna hear my frog impression?” -
The Sperm Count
An 85-year-old man had to take a sperm count for his physical exam. The doctor gave him a jar and said, “Take this home and bring back a sample tomorrow.” The next day, the man returned to the office and handed him the jar, which was as clean and empty as the day before.
The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained,
“Well, doc, it’s like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then my left, still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left — nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then the teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too — first with both hands, then an armpit, she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees — but still nothing.”
The doctor was shocked. “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, “Yep. None of us could get the jar open!”
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The Times are rough
I’ve run out of toilet paper, so I’ve started using old newspaper…
The Times are rough. -
Ancient grease
An archaeologist found a 2,000-year-old oil stain.
Ancient grease. -
Just a shot in the dark
I was trying to get romantic with the new nurse at my doctor’s office, so I asked her to dim the lights before she gave me the tetanus booster.
I guess it was just a shot in the dark. -
I bleed at the sight of someone passing out
I’ve always been different from most people. For instance, I bleed at the sight of someone passing out.
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Beat Up a Fifth Grader
I don’t think I’d do very well on that TV show, “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?”
But if they ever have a spin-off called, “Can You Beat Up a Fifth Grader?” I’ll bet I could score some nice consolation prizes.
