Regarding being accused of masturbating in the shower: I can tell you that the fact my wife’s conditioner looks like semen has bailed me out on more than one occasion.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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During my sermon last Sunday, there was lots of screaming,
During my sermon last Sunday, there was lots of screaming, shitting and masturbating. Last time I preach to monkeys at the zoo.
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I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I
I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I remembered gay men are men, too, like me. Yesterday I put my dick in a tree stump.
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I went on a date with a woman everyone knows is promiscuous. It
I went on a date with a woman everyone knows is promiscuous. It felt like waiting 3 hours in line to go on a ride at Disneyland.
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She laughed when she realized it’s “condom” not “condiment,” but
She laughed when she realized it’s “condom” not “condiment,” but she’s not the one with mustard burns on her pecker.
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My wife suggested we start sleeping with other people to make
My wife suggested we start sleeping with other people to make our sex lives more exciting, so I asked her how many other guys she planned on having sex with while she’s married to me. Her reply: “Retroactively, or from this point forward?”
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My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I
My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I stuck a ball gag in her mouth and thoroughly spanked her ass. Turns out she just wanted a hot young rich guy.
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“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in
“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in the yard?” “Read the fine print on the Cialis box, Karen.”
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My wife did a bong hit right before performing analingus on me.
My wife did a bong hit right before performing analingus on me. She says she enjoyed the experience, but I think she was just blowing smoke up my ass.
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“There’s a one letter difference between ‘heroes’ and ‘herpes,’
“There’s a one letter difference between ‘heroes’ and ‘herpes,’ so choose wisely, kids.” Why I’m not allowed to speak at schools anymore.
