“Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?”
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📅 3 weeks ago
A jealous husband to his wife: “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?”
Wife: “I suppose. I would just need to figure out a way to come up with that kind of money.”
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic
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📅 3 weeks ago
But I refused because if I’m gonna have sex on a car, it’s going to be on my own Accord
I got a handjob from a blind woman once…
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📅 3 weeks ago
She told me, “This is the biggest dick I’ve ever come across.”
I said, “No, you are just pulling my leg.”
How do you kow when a politician is lying?
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📅 3 weeks ago
His lips are moving!
Politicians are a lot like diapers.
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📅 3 weeks ago
They should be changed often….. and for the exact same reason.
What’s the difference between politicians and flying pigs?
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📅 3 weeks ago
The letter ‘f’.
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