Joke Type: absurdist

Absurdist jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Farmers Market Pumpkin

    Farmers Market Pumpkin

    Had to fight some 16 year old kid for this at the farmers market today.👍

  • Yahtzee With Squirrels

    Yahtzee With Squirrels

    In many places it is now unlawful to play Yahtzee with squirrels.

  • Spiderman Eats Thieves

    Spiderman Eats Thieves

    Spider-Man Spider-Man

    Does whatever a spider can

    Spins a web Any size

    Catches thieves Eats those guys

    Hey wait Don’t do that Spider-Man

  • The Clapper and the Mime

    Does the Clapper still turn the lights on if a mime is doing the clapping?

  • Do You Want Porn with That

    When is McDonald’s going to realize they’d get much bigger sales with, “Do you want porn with that?”

  • Stop Biting Our Cheeks by 66

    It takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something and we chew food for an average of 25 minutes per day. Using that logic, we will stop biting our cheeks by the age of 66.

  • Medicinal Prostitute

    Medicinal Prostitute

    Me: It’s Medicinal

    Cop: first of all… that’s a prostitute

  • Penguin Covered in Mustard

    Penguins are funny. Mustard is funny. But do you think a penguin covered in mustard would be funny? I don’t know, but it might help if he were wearing a bib, ’cause bibs are funny.

  • Lemons Painted Like Hand Grenades

    When life gives you lemons, paint them up like hand grenades and hijack a plane to Cuba.

  • Devil Chef Celery

    Devil Chef Celery

    For our patrons!

    A Devil Chef Health Tip!

    Enjoy Celery

    Nature’s Toothbrush For Your Colon!

    Fiber Rich!

    Packed with Vitamins!

    Ribbed for Xtra Pleasure!

    Ooh LaLa!