My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our taxes. What she doesn’t know is that my process involves writing “I.R.S.” on the forehead of a blow-up doll and repeatedly ramming it in the ass.
Joke Type: absurdist
Absurdist jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to
Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to look like the buildings surrounding the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
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Keeping your dignity means both knowing what to say and knowing
Keeping your dignity means both knowing what to say and knowing what not to say. That’s why I never talk about my farts, no matter how much they sound like Donald Duck playing the kazoo.
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I like my coffee like I like my women: half-digested and culled
I like my coffee like I like my women: half-digested and culled from the feces of the Asian Palm Civet.
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If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled,
If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled, hard-bodied teenaged boy. Uh, BRB…
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(Lori Petterson) Like sands through the hourglass, so are the
(Lori Petterson) Like sands through the hourglass, so are the constipation-packed pebble-turds trickling from my butt.
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They say a dog’s sense of smell is thousands of times better
They say a dog’s sense of smell is thousands of times better than that of a human. If that’s the case, why do dogs have to get their nose so damn close when sniffing each others butts?
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I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the
I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the fashion industry is too afraid to show off their new paisley butt-plug, who needs their opinions?
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Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for
Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for nipples. I must concede, however, that they would STILL be breasts.
