Im horny
yo hold up
is that a 2002 Ferrari F355 Spider hotwheels on your nght?
my dad used to have one hanging in the rearview mirror, one night he got in to ar accident and the airbag impaled it into his face
no shit retard we have the same dad
Joke Type: absurdist
Absurdist jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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The Man on the Island
A cruise ship sails past a small island in the ocean, where a bearded man is shouting something while frantically waving his arms.
“Who is that?” a passenger asks the captain.
“I have no idea. Every year, when we pass by here, he goes crazy in exactly the same way.”
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Dinosaurs Don’t Make Good Pets
Why don’t dinosaurs make good pets?
Because they’re dead.
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My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our
My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our taxes. What she doesn’t know is that my process involves writing “I.R.S.” on the forehead of a blow-up doll and repeatedly ramming it in the ass.
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Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to
Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to look like the buildings surrounding the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
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Keeping your dignity means both knowing what to say and knowing
Keeping your dignity means both knowing what to say and knowing what not to say. That’s why I never talk about my farts, no matter how much they sound like Donald Duck playing the kazoo.
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I like my coffee like I like my women: half-digested and culled
I like my coffee like I like my women: half-digested and culled from the feces of the Asian Palm Civet.
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If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled,
If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled, hard-bodied teenaged boy. Uh, BRB…
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(Lori Petterson) Like sands through the hourglass, so are the
(Lori Petterson) Like sands through the hourglass, so are the constipation-packed pebble-turds trickling from my butt.
