A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during the settlement of the West. After several weeks there he noticed that the town was populated solely by men.
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Unleash ChaosJoke Type: anecdotal
Anecdotal jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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A Hot Dog and a Popsicle
There was two people working in a coal mine. It was time for lunch so the two people sat down together; one was a West Virginian, the other a Virginian. While they were eating lunch, the Virginian pulled out a Thermos.
“What is that?” asked the West Virginian.
“A Thermos,” said the Virginian.
“What is it used for?” asked the West Virginian.
“It is used to store hot stuff in it and cold stuff in it,” said the Virginian.
“I’m going to get me one,” said the West Virginian.
So the next week when the West Virginian and the Virginian ate lunch together, the West Virginian pulled out a Thermos.
“What’s in the Thermos?” asked the Virginian.
“A hot dog and a Popsicle,” said the West Virginian.
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Something Soft and Mushy
So anyway this hillbilly took his girl up to lovers peak. They sat down on a log. After a bit Judi says to Jon, “Aren’t the stars purty tonite?”
Jon says “Sure is Judi”.
Judi says “Jon, aren’t the moon purty tonite”.
Jon says “Sure is Judi”.
After a bit Judi says, “Jon, whisper something soft and mushy in my ear”.
So Jon leans over and whispers “Shit”.
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De Duck Won
The Louisiana State Police received reports of illegal cock fights being held in the area around LaFayette, and duly dispatched the infamous detective Desormeaux to investigate.
He reported to his sergeant the next morning.
“Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fightin’” he began.
“Good work. Who are they?” the sergeant asked.
Desormeaux replied confidently, “De Aggies, de Cajuns, and de Mafia.”
Puzzled, the sergeant asked, “How did you find that out in one night?”
“Well,” he replied, “I went down and done seen dat cock fight. I knowed the Aggies was involved when a duck was entered in the fight.”
The sergeant nodded, “I’ll buy that. But what about the others?”
Desormeaux intoned knowingly, “Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when summbody bet on de duck.”
“Ah,” sighed the sergeant, “And how did you deduce the Mafia was involved?”
“De duck won.”
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What Do You Think That Bull Was Slipping In
At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, “That new bull nearly did me in today, pard.”
“Oh yeah, what happened?”
“I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. Damn near got me!”
“So, how’d you get away?”
“The bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make the fence and jump over.”
“Man, that’s scary. If it’d been me, I’d probably have shit all over the place.”
“What do you think that bull was slipping in?”
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Is It the Light Thats Attractin Them
In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.”
Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world. “Whoa there Scotty!” said the doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down…I think there’s yet another wee one to come.”
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby. “No, no, don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man…It seems there’s yet another one besides!” cried the doctor.
The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “Do ye think it’s the light that’s attractin’ them?”
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It Is Your Cow
Young Dave was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Dave’s porch watching the sun go down over the hills, Dave spied his prize bull doing the business on one of his cows.
He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the hard word on Mabel. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, “Mabel, I’d sure like to be doing what that bull is doing.”
“Well then, why don’t you?” Mabel whispered back. “It is YOUR cow.”
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At Least He Let Go of Ol Zeek
Here in Kentucky, you don’t see too many people hang-gliding. Ol’ Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge–into the wind he goes!
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Baaaaaaa
Bubba pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Brian where he’d first had sex.
“It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours,” Bubba recalled.
“That sounds wonderful,” said Brian.
“Yes. It was ok until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us.”
“Oh my God!!! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?”
“Baaaaaaa.”
