Joke Type: bait and switch

Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • It must be the cobblestone

    Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village. One says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
    The other replies, “Me neither. It must be the cobblestone.”

  • Doctor’s Exam: A Hands-On Approach!

    A guy goes to the doctor, and the doctor says, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but you need to stop masturbating.”

    The guy says, “Why?”

    And the doctor says, “So I can examine you.”

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  • Gorilla Pranks Lion: Jungle’s Wildest Tale!

    A gorilla spots a lion bent over a stream taking a drink. He sneaks up behind him, does his thing, and takes off running. Furious, the lion chases him through the jungle.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The gorilla gets ahead and runs into a safari camp, quickly throws on some khakis, grabs a newspaper, and sits by the fire pretending to read.

    Moments later, the lion bursts into camp, roaring, “Did anyone see a gorilla run through here?”

    Without looking up, the gorilla says, “You mean the one that fucked the lion up the ass?”

    The lion gasps, “Oh my god! It’s in the paper already?!”

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  • Best wingman ever

    I asked my best friend to be my wingman and boast about me while I was talking to a girl I like.
    It backfired horribly when he told her I’m the best sex he ever had.

  • Say fuck at the same time

    How do you get 29 nice old ladies to say fuck at the same time?
    Have the 30th nice old lady say, “Bingo!”

  • BINGO

    What has 75 balls and fucks old ladies?
    BINGO.

  • Well, that didn’t work

    My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…

    I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.

    She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.

    After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”

  • Its name is deceiving

    Do not buy a Dyson Ball Vacuum.
    Its name is deceiving. Don’t ask how I know.

  • Here comes the second one

    How do terrorists feed their children?
    “Here comes the airplane.”
    “Here comes the second one.”

  • Gorilla’s Night Out: A Barroom Surprise!

    A guy walks into a bar…

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    He orders a drink and then notices there’s a huge silverback gorilla chained up at the end of the bar, just sitting there and staring at the bartender. Confused, the guy surveys his surroundings, but everyone at the bar is just chatting away and acting normal.

    He nervously downs his drink and orders another. After finishing his second drink, he summons the courage to ask about the gorilla.

    The bartender says, “Watch this.”

    Then the bartender grabs a 2×4 from under the bar and whacks the gorilla over the head with all his might. The gorilla drops to its knees, unzips the bartender’s fly, and starts sucking his dick.

    The bartender turns to the guy and says, “This is awesome. You gotta try it.”

    The guy says, “Sure, but you don’t have to hit me so hard.”

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