Joke Type: bait and switch

Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

After 10 years of marriage, my wife and I have a comfortable

After 10 years of marriage, my wife and I have a comfortable routine: I get sex after she goes on a shopping bender, then waits till I cum before informing me how much she spent.
If I were a carpenter and you were my lady, would you then be

If I were a carpenter and you were my lady, would you then be less put off by my “Hey, baby, check out my awesome wood!” comment?
I was having lunch with my girlfriend the other day when I

I was having lunch with my girlfriend the other day when I unexpectedly got a really fierce hard-on. Sure, it was kind of embarrassing, but at least I had somewhere to put the pineapple rings when I went for seconds at the buffet.
I went up to a gorgeous woman in a bar and said, “You know, you

I went up to a gorgeous woman in a bar and said, “You know, you can’t spell ‘cunnilingus’ without ‘us.’” She made a fist and said, “And you can’t spell ‘blowjob’ without ‘ow’!”
When the Boy Toy told me he wanted to do it in a moving car, I

When the Boy Toy told me he wanted to do it in a moving car, I was happy to oblige. I just wish he has told me it was a convertible, so I could have worn a top that stays on in high winds. Oh, well, the truckers didn’t mind.
Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you

Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you.
Call me naive, but when a guy invited me to his place for “a

Call me naive, but when a guy invited me to his place for “a little scat,” I honestly thought there would be improvised jazz singing involved.
I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response

I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response when my boyfriend asked me what I stuck in his ass.
My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the

My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the Halloween party we’re attending. Awesome! When we get back home, tonight’s rectal thermometer session will be that much more authentic.
My girlfriend has the most amazing tits ever. In fact, they

My girlfriend has the most amazing tits ever. In fact, they should be in the Titsonian.