Joke Type: bait and switch

Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

I made the mistake of shopping for a new bed with my wife. While

I made the mistake of shopping for a new bed with my wife. While the salesperson was more than happy to indulge her questions about “plushness” and “comfort,” all I received was blank stares when I voiced concerns about the bedframe’s durability when I’m ramming it home.
Funny, you’d think my boyfriend would’ve been *more* aroused

Funny, you’d think my boyfriend would’ve been *more* aroused when I emerged from the bathroom naked, purring that I wanted
I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead

I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead of my hand, I got bit on my cock. And instead of a radioactive spider, it was a cheap hooker. And my “power” is Hepatitis C. Other than that though, it’s exactly the same.
There was no way around it: The lump that appeared in my pants

There was no way around it: The lump that appeared in my pants was visible to everyone else in the meeting room. Thinking fast, I went “BAWK!”
When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought

When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought it was because I was sweet and smelled nice. Turns out it was because of all the little pricks I’ve had in my bush.
I just learned a new riff on my ukulele, in case you were

I just learned a new riff on my ukulele, in case you were wondering where all this pussy came from.
Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part

Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part was getting them out of my scrotum.
The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to

The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to cum in less than 60 seconds every damn time.
My dog taught me to how lick my balls. Then he showed me how to

My dog taught me to how lick my balls. Then he showed me how to scratch behind my ear with my back leg, because I needed TWO tricks for this last New Year’s Eve party.
Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the

Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the same thing as at a traffic light. Blue balls seem universal, though.