Joke Type: dark humor

Dark humor jokes, grim punchlines, and comedy from the questionable end of the emotional buffet from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Wrong Glass!

    Wrong Glass!

    Wrong Glass
  • Beat Her at Russian Roulette

    Beat Her at Russian Roulette

    Beat Her at Russian Roulette

  • Well, that didn’t work

    My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…

    I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.

    She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.

    After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”

  • Back at work tomorrow

    A morgue worker died today.
    But he’ll be back at work tomorrow.

  • Here comes the second one

    How do terrorists feed their children?
    “Here comes the airplane.”
    “Here comes the second one.”

  • Pirates, Prison, and a Booty Call!

    In 2010, a group of pirates buried their treasure and, earlier this year, tried to recover it. They tried everything—bloodhounds, radar, metal detectors, sonar—but they couldn’t find their treasure.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    One day, one of the pirates had a suggestion.

    “Captain, we should break R. Kelly out of prison.”

    The captain said, “This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard, but go ahead. Why?”

    “Captain, if anybody can find 15-year-old booty, it’s this guy!”

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  • Just one nail

    What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
    You can hang the picture with just one nail.

  • Bench of Bizarre Disorders

    A sadist, a masochist, a necrophile, a murderer, a zoophile, and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “Let’s have sex with the cat,” says the zoophile.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat and then torture it,” says the sadist.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, and then kill it,” says the murderer.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, and then have sex with it again,” says the necrophile.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again, and then burn it,” says the pyromaniac.

    There was a silence. Then the masochist said, “Meow.”

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  • An arm and a leg

    If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, try swimming with sharks.
    It can cost you an arm and a leg.

  • It was a good trade

    I got a refrigerator for my wife today.
    It was a good trade.