Joke Type: misunderstanding

Misunderstanding jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Last One There Gets a Rotten Egg

    Q: What did one sperm cell say to the other sperm cell?

    A: Last one there gets a rotten egg!

  • Someone’s Coming

    One evening Snow White decided she was sleepy and announced to the seven dwarfs that she was going to bed. After the usual lengthy round of “Good Nights” she went upstairs.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Immediately all seven dwarfs rushed outside and began standing on each others’ shoulders beneath Snow White’s bedroom window. Tonight was Grumpy’s turn to be on the top and as he was the only one who could see in the window it was his duty to inform the other dwarfs what she was doing.

    After a minute or two he hollered down, “She’s taking off her blouse!” and this was echoed down the stack — “Taking off her blouse,” “She’s taking off her blouse,” “Blouse is coming off,” “Taking off her blouse,” etc.

    Next Grumpy yelled, “She’s taking off her skirt,” which was followed by the echoes — “Taking off her skirt,” “She’s taking off her skirt,” “Skirt’s coming off,” “Taking off her skirt,” etc.

    Of course the next line from Grumpy was, “She’s taking off her bra!” and the echo chorus went down the line: “She’s taking off her bra!” “She’s taking off her bra!” “She’s taking off her bra!” etc.

    Then Grumpy said, “She’s taking off her panties!” which again cascaded down the dwarf tower. “She’s taking off her panties!” “She’s taking off her panties!” “She’s taking off her panties!” “She taking off her panties!” etc.

    Finally Grumpy looked around and from his vantage height saw someone coming through the woods so he yelled, “Someone’s coming!”

    And from the next dwarf to the bottom dwarf was heard, “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.”

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  • Paint My House

    Some smart looking businessman dude was sitting in a bar drinking a beer one night when a gorgeous well-stacked blonde walked in.

    She says, “For $250, I’ll do anything you want, only you have to describe it in three words or less.”

    He thinks about this a minute or so, pulls out $250, and says, “Paint my house.”

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  • Alone When Doing Number Two

    The old song says, “One is the loneliest number you could ever do.” I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be alone when I’m doing number two.

  • Robin Hood Strength

    Robin Hood Strength

    Robin Hood: *Gives stolen gold to little boy*

    Little Kid: Thank you I’m rich now!

    Robin Hood:

    I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.

  • Wake Up Afternoon

    Wake Up Afternoon

    Doctor, my back hurts when I wake up in the morning

    Wake up in the afternoon then

  • Sawed Off Shotgun Valentine

    Sawed Off Shotgun Valentine

    My son got suspended from school for asking a girl to be his valentine and chasing her with a sawed off shotgun

    #BoysWillBeBoys

  • Nothing Would Please Me More

    Nothing Would Please Me More

    Husband: I’m getting you diamonds for our anniversary

    Wife: Nothing would please me more

    Husband: *Gets her nothing instead*

  • 7 Antibiotics

    7 Antibiotics

    I gave you everything

    I know. I’m on 7 antibiotics

  • The Shower Drain

    A young wife, freshly shaved, walks out of her bathroom into the master bedroom.

    She lifts her teddy, revealing nothing underneath, licks her lips, winks, and says, “Sweetie, you know what this means, don’t you.”

    Her young husband replies, “Yes, damn it, I am gonna have to spend all weekend unclogging the shower drain.”

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