Einstein said, “God doesn’t play dice with the universe.” It’s true — he’s too smart and knows the house odds are just too high. He mostly sticks with Blackjack and Baccarat.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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The most tragic part of J.D.
The most tragic part of J.D. Salinger’s passing is that disaffected curmudgeons now no longer have someone at whom they can point and say, “Well, at least I’m not *that* much of a dick.”
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Oh, come on — I can’t possibly be the only person ever expelled from Farmville for
Oh, come on — I can’t possibly be the only person ever expelled from Farmville for playing with sheep in *that* way.
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I think a cool reality cross-over show would be “Survivor: Biggest Loser.”
I think a cool reality cross-over show would be “Survivor: Biggest Loser.” Sure, you might tire of the intensified complaining as there would be no trainers or structured workouts to keep the overweight contestant occupied, but things would really heat up by day 10 when they start killing each other for food.
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At this point Pope John Paul II’s beatification looks pretty much assured — barring
At this point Pope John Paul II’s beatification looks pretty much assured — barring allegations of steroid use, of course.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window.
When God closes a door, he opens a window. When God farts, he opens two windows, for the cross-ventilation effect.
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If I ever have a daughter, I won’t let her play with Barbie dolls because I think they
If I ever have a daughter, I won’t let her play with Barbie dolls because I think they create unrealistic body images for girls. In the real world, what are the odds that a young girl will ever grow up to be only eleven and a half inches tall?
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I turned around and the ship was being stormed by thieves, though all they stole was the
I turned around and the ship was being stormed by thieves, though all they stole was the ship’s collection of fine wine. Apparently, we we’re the latest to be attacked by sommelier pirates.
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I’ll bet more kids would sign up for the debate team in high school if they only knew
I’ll bet more kids would sign up for the debate team in high school if they only knew how vital it would be in kicking total ASS during lunch-hour pop culture arguments in the Best Buy breakroom someday.
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Attention, working men!
Attention, working men! The national research project to determine whether work gloves will fly out of the open bed of a moving pickup truck has now concluded. Please resume storing your gloves in the cab of your truck when driving, and thank you for your participation in this important and valuable study.
