These people waited 458 days just to get their luggage. Ridiculous
WE’VE WAITED 458 DAYS FOR THIS MOMENT
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Elmo Sesame Street
Elmo knows better than to question a man who just tore off half of his friend’s head to wear as a hat. There’s no place for weakness on the Sesame Street.
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Hallmark Movie
woman: i have a high paying job in new york city that i love and christmas isn’t that important to me
her black friend: you need a MAN
woman’s dad: come to the small town,, we are suffering without a baker for our town festivale
woman: ok dad
man: i harvest maple syrup for a living and make 2 dollars a year
woman: :/
man: will you harvest maple syrup with me…
woman: i’ve decided i hate my job and i’m going to resign myself to making christmas tree ornaments in fuckberg for the rest of my life
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Crossfit Croissant
Me: omg I’m so tired from all that crossfit this morning
Friend: it’s pronounced croissant… and I’m not sure how you managed to eat 12
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Expert Identifying Birds
Me: I’m an expert at identifying birds
Her: OK, what about those ones flying over that tree?
Me: Yup, they’re all birds
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Kids Eat Free
Waiter: ‘I just wanted to let you know that kids eat for free.’
Me: ‘Good. I’ll have a water and my daughter will have the steak and a kids Bud Light.’
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WD40 DA-WN Flowchart
DOES IT MOVE?
No – Should it? No – No Problem
Yes – Should it? Yes – No Problem
No – WD-40
DA-WN
