BaCk iN mY DaY wE WeReN’t sO eAsiLy oFfEndEd
Back in your day: LONG HAIR IS COMMUNISM STOP HIPPIES MARCH OF THE CHRIST MOVE THEM HIPPIES NORTH
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

The doctor said if i can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die.
I’m going to die.

The search is over… I found my spirit animal
Pig in Australia steals 18 beers from campers, gets drunk, fights cow.

When she’s getting ready to show you the advantages of dating an older woman…
I need to know something: Is it “Yeehaw” or “Heeyaw”? I’m riding in my first rodeo and don’t want to sound like a total idiot.
The Top 15 Things Said by Celebrities During Sex
15. Madonna: “Dammit, you’re blocking the mirror!”
14. Verizon Wireless guy: “Can you feel me now? Good. Can you feel me now? Good. Can you….”
13. Charlie Sheen: “Do you take MasterCard?”
12. Susan Sarandon: “Let’s just continue with the inspections for a little while longer.”
11. Anna Nicole Smith: “Quick! Someone get a defibru… a defebrul… a diffruberal… a doctor!!”
10. Jack Webb: “Just relax, Ma’am.”
9. Andy Rooney: “Didja ever notice how sometimes your anus contracts during orgasm? Why is that?”
8. Winona Ryder: “How the hell should *I* know where your wallet is?!?”
7. Ben Affleck: “Thank you, Satan!”
6. Steve Irwin: “Crikey! A whopper like that could swallow a guy whole!”
5. Tony Blair: “Mind if I call you ‘Georgie’?”
4. Pat Sajak: “Yes, I can give you an ‘O’ — in fact, I can give you several!”
3. Wilt Chamberlain: “Next!”
2. Michael Jackson: “Where’s your daddy? Where’s your daddy?!?”
1. Simon Cowell: “That was horrible! Just dreadful. I believe you may be the worst sex partner in the world! I mean it, that was absolutely atrocious. I wouldn’t even call that sex.”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]