(Lori Petterson) Happiness is finding a freshly cleaned gas station restroom when you have to poo.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster
Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster than a schmear of butt-mustard left behind by the cat.
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Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone!
Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone! Airports should add a pause button to those damn electronic toilets.
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They say a dog’s sense of smell is thousands of times better
They say a dog’s sense of smell is thousands of times better than that of a human. If that’s the case, why do dogs have to get their nose so damn close when sniffing each others butts?
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But in the end, it’s always my dick that somehow ends up
But in the end, it’s always my dick that somehow ends up grabbing my attention. (Jim Woodruff My new girlfriend is the sexiest woman in the world: big firm breasts, gorgeous eyes and lips, luscious curving hips, long and thick peni– hey, wait just a fucking minute! Oh, my god. I can’t believe this! She totally forgot to wish me a happy one-week anniversary!
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I try listening to my heart, really I do
I try listening to my heart, really I do.
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I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical
I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical jokes about oral sex. You might say she has a good gag reflex.
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I am routinely disgusted upon seeing my wife’s issues of
I am routinely disgusted upon seeing my wife’s issues of “Fitness” and “Shape” magazines, with scantily attired women adorning the cover. I mean, they *always* find a way to put the damn mailing label on top of the cameltoe!
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I think all in-flight movies should be porn. That way the Mile
I think all in-flight movies should be porn. That way the Mile High Club assholes could get if over with faster so the rest of us could use the damn toilet.
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Sometimes you witness something so utterly amazing and
Sometimes you witness something so utterly amazing and emotionally moving that you can’t help from screaming out, “Holy shit! That dog is licking his own balls!”
