When your girl says yes to a 3 some and you get in the room and there’s 2 niggas and shes holdin a camera
Hol up.
Joke Type: sexual innuendo
Sexual innuendo jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Make It 52
At the store buying 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and said, ‘Make it 52.’
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They Prefer to Eat Out
Why don’t lesbians ever get their pizza delivered? They prefer to eat out.
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Jeopardy: Blood, Sweat, and Tears
Category: BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS. Contestant shrugs, commits to the bit, walks away $8,800 richer and forever remembered.
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Chunky Peanut Butter
David Veltri @Veltrida
i don’t wanna be rude, but i’ve gathered enough info in my life to know that people who like chunky peanut butter like to be choked during sex
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Alive With the Sound of Muzak
Nothing sours my holiday mood like surly people at the mall, especially ones who are unimpressed by my jubilant proclamation that my groin is alive with the sound of Muzak.
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No Smoking Bad Sex
NO SMOKING
“I’ve got to give you credit. How you can squeeze that much bad sex into 2 minutes, is beyond me.”
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Why a Beer Is Better Than Women
1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. A frigid beer is good.
3. A beer doesn’t care when you come home.
4. When a beer goes flat you can toss it.
5. A beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer.
6. A beer never gets a headache.
7. If you pour a beer right, you always get a good head.
8. You can share a beer with a friend.
9. You always know when you’re the first one to pop a beer.
10. A beer is always wet.
11. You can have a beer in public.
12. You don’t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
13. A beer doesn’t get pregnant.
14. A beer doesn’t have parents.
15. You can say whatever you want to a beer.
16. A beer doesn’t care if you are late.
17. And you can always have several different beers and not feel guilty.
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Turn The Car On
(Driving test)
Instructor: Turn the car on
Me: Umm ok. (rubbing interior) You like that? You filthy who-
Instructor: Ok we’re done here
