Joke Type: shock value

Shock value jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

I love Photoshop. I can send pics of my hoo-hah to guys on the

I love Photoshop. I can send pics of my hoo-hah to guys on the ‘net and make it so they can’t even see my penis.
My boyfriend thought it was really hot when I got high and sent

My boyfriend thought it was really hot when I got high and sent him pics of my vajajay.
You know how schoolkids love that cool magic trick where, with

You know how schoolkids love that cool magic trick where, with some sleight of hand, you make it look like you’re breaking off your finger, then — voila! — it’s back on again? Well, it turns out it’s not as popular when you try it with your penis.
You know, taking pictures of my pubic area with my penis tucked

You know, taking pictures of my pubic area with my penis tucked between my legs was fun, but it was *NOTHING* compared to the joy of blackmailing my roommate after I caught him whacking off to them.
I miss those innocent days when my kids were babies and were

I miss those innocent days when my kids were babies and were tiny, sweet and full of giggles — and I could squirt milk out of my tits at the drive-thru cashier for funsies.
(Steve R. Clancy) There once was a chick from Vancouver, Who

(Steve R. Clancy) There once was a chick from Vancouver, Who sucked cock like she was a Hoover. Till the day she got ticked And bit off a dick, Then swallowed it like an hors d’oeuvre.
Looking over my 401(k) statement recently made me queasy — even

Looking over my 401(k) statement recently made me queasy — even more so when I looked up to notice the smartphone-illuminated meth-mouth of the hooker who was riding me at the time.
There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right

There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right decision to meet with your doctor about your sex addiction than your masturbating to the breast-self-exam pamphlet in the waiting room.
(Bonnie) I’m a conservationist at heart and take pride in my

(Bonnie) I’m a conservationist at heart and take pride in my innovative recycling ideas. Did you know an old dildo works great as an egg-beater? Yup, you’ll get light, fluffy eggs every time.
Reflecting on my latest Bible study reading, I told the group I

Reflecting on my latest Bible study reading, I told the group I felt bad for Lot. Can you imagine the pain one suffers when fucking a pillar of salt?