Joke Type: shock value

Shock value jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Only Chick Raw Dog

    Only Chick Raw Dog

    The only chick you can fuck raw dog without having to worry about paying child support

  • Bryan County Bond

    Bryan County Bond

    BRYAN COUNTY JAIL

    WOMAN IN BRYAN COUNTY SUCKS OFF MAN’S PENIS

    Doyle Hargraves

    HOW MUCH IS HER BOND?

  • Do You Want Porn with That

    When is McDonald’s going to realize they’d get much bigger sales with, “Do you want porn with that?”

  • Fresh Liver Fixes Everything Until It Ends Up in the Sink

    It seems that Annie was born with a rather unusually large vagina and therefore has been unable to sustain any sort of long-term relationships because even the most well endowed men soon lose interest because of her inability to satisfy them sexually.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    So when a guy from the office whom she really liked asked her out, she decided to take desperate measures. On the way home she stops at the butcher and buys a kilo of fresh liver. She gets ready for her big date and slides that kilo of liver into her box, hoping that it will take up some of the slack, just in case the evening should turn out to be romantic.

    Bill picks her up, they go out, dinner, dancing, cocktails, have the BEST time, and sure enough, end up back at her place, have some great sex and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

    Annie wakes up the next morning and Bill is nowhere to be seen. She sighs and thinks, “Oh well, I gave it my best shot, I guess I’m doomed to end up an old maid.”

    She goes downstairs to make coffee and finds a note on the kitchen table…..

    “Dear Annie,

    Thank you so much for last night! I had a really GREAT time, and I think you are WONDERFUL!

    Sorry I had to leave so early, but I’ll call you later and I hope we can get together again REAL SOON!

    Love You,
    Bill

    (P.S. Your cunt’s in the sink)”

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  • Medicinal Prostitute

    Medicinal Prostitute

    Me: It’s Medicinal

    Cop: first of all… that’s a prostitute

  • The Truth About Santa Claus

    I think, deep down inside, little children want to be told the truth about Santa Claus. Why else would they stand in line for an hour just to sit on my lap?

  • Selling My Nudes

    Selling My Nudes

    Times are tough so once again I will be selling my nudes.

    $5 to get one

    $25 not to get one

  • Reaching In Backpack

    Reaching In Backpack

    when the white kid in class getting roasted and starts reaching in his backpack

  • No Means No Dyslexic

    No Means No Dyslexic

    NO MEANS NO, UNLESS SHE’S DYSLEXIC

    THEN IT’S ON

  • Duct Tape Viagra

    Duct Tape Viagra

    “Hope you don’t mind… I’m out of Viagra, so I used duct tape.”