Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • $chool and kNOwledge

    Sam went away to school. A month later, he mailed a letter to his mother:

    Dear Mom,

    $chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I’m acing $pani$h and Economic$, and I $pend hour$ in the $ocial $cience$ department. $ociology i$ intere$ting!

    Ju$t off I can’t think of anything I wi$h for, but it would be $uper nice if you could ju$t $end me a card, a$ you know I would alway$ love to hear from you.

    Love and ki$$e$,
    your $on, $am

    His mother wrote back:

    Dear Sammy,

    I kNOw ecoNOmics, astroNOmy, and oceaNOgraphy are more than eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

    Love, your mom

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  • Definitely

    A teacher walks up to the blackboard and writes DEFINITELY.

    She turns to the class and says, “Today we’ll be looking at the word ‘definitely.’ Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I want some volunteers to use definitely in a statement.”

    Little Suzy raises her hand and says, “I am definitely going to the park after school today.”

    “No, I would think there’s a good chance you’ll go to the park, but it might rain, so it’s not definitely.”

    Little Billy raises his hand and says, “My team is definitely going to win the game this Saturday.”

    “No, I know you really want your team to win the game this Saturday, but wanting is not enough to make it definitely.”

    Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Miss, is there such a thing as a lumpy fart?”

    “No.”

    “Then I definitely just shat myself.”

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  • Fascinate

    A teacher asks little Johnny to say a sentence using the word “fascinate.”

    Little Johnny: “My sister’s boobs are so big that when she puts on her shirt with ten buttons, she can only fasten eight.”

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  • Nintendo Switch

    Nintendo Switch

    Nintendo switch $40

    I’m Interested

  • Imagine Asian

    I used to think I had a Japanese friend.

    But it was just my imagine Asian.

  • Children’s Zoo

    Last week I took the kids to a children’s zoo.

    Last night they escaped and came back home.

  • Open Mike Night

    I’m hosting an autopsy club meeting tonight!

    It’s “Open Mike Night”!

  • Dangers of Eating Azz

    Dangers of Eating Azz

    How’s your head

    I haven’t had any complaints

    THE DANGERS OF EATING AZZ @sericxapp

  • Perfect Moon Im Gay

    Perfect Moon Im Gay

    Wow, it’s a perfect moon for a werewolf to come out

    I’m gay