If you ask me, packing your top five favorite albums for any trip is just begging for trouble.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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There’s nothing quite as rewarding as entering a room and seeing your child’s face light
There’s nothing quite as rewarding as entering a room and seeing your child’s face light up — because it confirms that you finally got the wiring and the LED bulb grafts right this time.
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My friends say I’m a good catch, but I guess I need to find guys with more sophisticated
My friends say I’m a good catch, but I guess I need to find guys with more sophisticated senses of humor. My dates never seem to get it when I leave the seat up in the bathroom. C’mon, everyone knows the ol’ “Crying Game” gag.
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If they take away the right to say “f**k,” how long before they take away the right to
If they take away the right to say “f**k,” how long before they take away the right to say “f##k”?
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How do I know I’m older and wiser?
How do I know I’m older and wiser? I used to skip school to watch MTV. Now I just skip MTV.
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Some stupid women pay a small fortune to get their lips puffed up by cosmetic surgeons.
Some stupid women pay a small fortune to get their lips puffed up by cosmetic surgeons. I’ve found you can get the same effect for free just by using a few well-chosen racial slurs on the subway at rush hour.
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I need to either stop dreaming of being a train conductor or stop drinking so much.
I need to either stop dreaming of being a train conductor or stop drinking so much. I passed out at a party last night right after yelling “All aboard!” and the ride in my dreams got pretty bumpy.
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Do not forget that the sun delights to touch your face, and the breeze to softly caress
Do not forget that the sun delights to touch your face, and the breeze to softly caress your skin. That way you won’t get totally creeped out if this happens.
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I tell people that the reason I’m packing away so much food is that I’m eating for two.
I tell people that the reason I’m packing away so much food is that I’m eating for two. I’m not pregnant or anything, but I do have this “Buy 1 Entree, Get 1 Free” coupon.
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Our baby daughter always fights being laid into bed.
Our baby daughter always fights being laid into bed. Sure, it can be pretty annoying now, but I hope it takes at least 18 more years for her to outgrow it.
