Sensitivity: Clean

Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I had always heard that the United States was less antisemitic than the rest of the

I had always heard that the United States was less antisemitic than the rest of the world, but here in California they really love the Hebrew people. Almost everywhere I go I see signs that say “Yosemite.”
After accidentally bringing the wrong tool, I thought the mohel would never get that

After accidentally bringing the wrong tool, I thought the mohel would never get that poor kid circumcised, but he finally managed to pull it off.
When exploring life’s labyrinth, leave no stone unturned.

When exploring life’s labyrinth, leave no stone unturned. When wandering marijuana’s maze, leave no turn unstoned.
My wife said yesterday that she’s worried I’m becoming a workaholic.

My wife said yesterday that she’s worried I’m becoming a workaholic. Well, this 32-slide Powerpoint presentation I put together overnight should convince her otherwise.
Know what’s worse than finding animal fur all over your car seat?

Know what’s worse than finding animal fur all over your car seat? Noticing that it’s blowing in from the air vent.
They say you should never raise your hand to your children, but how else am I supposed

They say you should never raise your hand to your children, but how else am I supposed to request permission to speak?
I used to work at a place where people got all pissy when I told dirty jokes.

I used to work at a place where people got all pissy when I told dirty jokes. Screw them *and* their vow of silence.
I finally found out what I did to make my wife so angry with me: married her.

I finally found out what I did to make my wife so angry with me: married her.
I call it “life-saving Heimlich maneuver,” but some unappreciative women call it

I call it “life-saving Heimlich maneuver,” but some unappreciative women call it “groping.” And guess who got the insensitive judge that makes narrow interpretations of the law? Again!
I hate it when I pay for legal advice that ends up getting me in *more* trouble than I

I hate it when I pay for legal advice that ends up getting me in *more* trouble than I was in originally. It almost makes me want to give back the free corndog.