Sensitivity: Clean

Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I signed a petition today for a group of asexuals were fighting for the right to not

I signed a petition today for a group of asexuals were fighting for the right to not marry anyone.
James Bond is a world famous spy, which if you think about it means he wasn’t very good

James Bond is a world famous spy, which if you think about it means he wasn’t very good at it.
I’ll bet Pat Benatar has been punched by a lot of strangers who just thought they were

I’ll bet Pat Benatar has been punched by a lot of strangers who just thought they were being clever.
You should never throw the baby out with the bathwater.

You should never throw the baby out with the bathwater. That’s why they make the drains so small.
I went to a hypnotist to unlock some hidden trauma from my childhood.

I went to a hypnotist to unlock some hidden trauma from my childhood. Apparently during the first several years of my life, I thought I was a chicken.
I love how we came up with such an elegant sounding word as “antiquing” to mean

I love how we came up with such an elegant sounding word as “antiquing” to mean “overpaying for someone else’s dilapidated, old crap.”
In the tradition of Radio Shack, Pizza Hut, and Pottery Barn, I’m launching my new

In the tradition of Radio Shack, Pizza Hut, and Pottery Barn, I’m launching my new pharmacy chain: Drug Attic.
I tried making some extra money as a go-go dancer, but got thrown out of Applebee’s

I tried making some extra money as a go-go dancer, but got thrown out of Applebee’s because they don’t appreciate art.
If a Method Actor is starring in a film about a Method Actor, does he get caught in a

If a Method Actor is starring in a film about a Method Actor, does he get caught in a time paradox?
I’m not addicted to my smartphone.

I’m not addicted to my smartphone. I can stop anytime the battery runs out.