Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Did you hear about the guitar that aroused people when played?
It had to be put on the sexy Fenders register.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy.
A guy goes to the psychiatrist and the doctor orders a Rorschach test.
He shows his patient the first inkblot and asks what he sees. The reply: “Sex.”
Second inkblot, same question. The reply: “Sex.” Third time around, same thing.
The doctor says, “All you have on your mind is sex.”
The patient replies, “Well, of course I do, because you keep showing me those dirty pictures.”
On the first day of college, the dean is making his initial address to the incoming student body and going over some of the rules.
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory is out-of-bounds for all female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule a second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?”
“Yeah,” says a guy in the back. “How much for a season pass?”
So it’s the first day of college, and the girls are finishing orientation with the Dean of Women.
“In conclusion, ladies, if you get pregnant, you’ll likely have to drop out and miss out on many of your dreams. Think about it: is that one hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of commitment?”
“Now,” the dean says, “are there any questions?”
“Yeah,” says a voice from the back. “How do you make them last an hour?”
What’s long, hard to get your tongue around, and given to a Polish woman by her husband on her wedding night?
His last name.
