Sensitivity: PG-13

Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • A cavity search

    How do you know if your dentist was a corrections officer before?
    If he wants to do a cavity search.

  • A four-chin teller

    What do you call a fat psychic?
    A four-chin teller.

  • Another Actor’s Life Destroyed

    Another Actor’s Life Destroyed

    Another Actor's Life Destroyed
  • Know Your Shit

    Know Your Shit

    Know Your Shit
  • High Standards for Roller Coaster Rides

    High Standards for Roller Coaster Rides

    Must Be This High

  • Beating the Grades: Dad’s Warning!

    Johnny went up to his teacher’s desk with a big red F on his report card. Johnny says to his teacher, “If I were you, I would change this while you can!”

    The teacher says, “Why is that?”

    “My dad said that if I come home with any more failing report cards, someone is going to get a beating.”

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  • Legendary Size: Mr. Rutledge’s Final Surprise!

    Old Mr. Rutledge died peacefully in his sleep and was taken to the morgue.

    While fixing him up for the funeral, the mortician naturally got a look at the old dead man naked.

    He was so awestruck at the size of Rutledge’s penis that he called his assistant in.

    “Wow, good on you, Mr. Rutledge! That thing’s gotta be the size of a baseball bat!” the assistant commented.

    Later that night, the mortician commented to his wife, “I worked on the body of an old man today. I swear what he was packing was the size of a baseball bat!”

    His wife’s eyes widened and she said, “Mr. Rutledge died?”

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  • Biden’s Barn Blues: A Night Out

    Biden, Obama, and Trump get lost in the woods one night.

    They come across an old farm and knock on the door to ask if they can get shelter there overnight.

    The farmer answers the door and says yes, but he only has room in his house for two guests, so one of the guys will have to sleep in the barn.

    Biden offers to sleep in the barn, and everyone turns in for the night. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on the door. It was Biden standing there. Biden says, “I didn’t realize horses were in there. I’m allergic.”

    So the farmer lets Biden in and sends Obama to the barn instead. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on his door. It was Obama standing there. He said, “I can’t sleep out there. The smell from the pigs is making me nauseous.”

    So the farmer lets Obama in and sends Trump out to the barn instead. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on the door.

    It was the horse and the pigs standing there.

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  • It was a draft

    Somebody threw a beer at Donald Trump today.
    Don’t worry, it was a draft—he was able to dodge it.

  • She spit it out

    I gave my wife an orgasm yesterday…
    …but she spit it out.